Gershon and I were married on September 8, 2007. It was the happiest day of my life. The love of my life and I had become one under God. Even writing about it now, it still feels like a dream. I can’t help but smile. Who could ask for more? With love on our sides, we could conquer the world. No one can ever prepare a wife for what is to come in marriage, though. Any married person will tell you that it isn’t easy, but two broken people together does not make a whole person. It was no different with Gershon and me.
When this blog post publishes my husband would have only been deceased for 100 days. It is still very new. Learning to cope has not been easy. I imagine I make it look easy, though, with all the “you are so strong” compliments. The truth is I don’t feel strong at all. Daily, I wonder if this will be the day I can’t get through. In the back of my mind, I know I have no other choice but to keep going. I have my babies. I promised myself that I would take each minute as it comes. It has gotten easier using this approach. The way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. So far, I’ve been devouring this elephant!
There has been quite a bit of spiritual warfare since Gershon’s passing. I don’t know why I expected anything different. The enemy spotted a playground because the head of my household was gone. There also were a lot of opinions about the status of our marriage. There were rumors that we weren’t together. Others said that Gershon was planning on divorce. At the end of his life, though, Gershon died at home with his wife. We were married until death. I honored my vows and I’m at peace with that. I was the best wife that I knew to be. That is all I could do. You will soon learn why I feel the need to justify that. We will take a look at the events from my perspective that led up to and followed my husband’s transition with a peek at our very eventful marriage and how I’m overcoming all of it.
Phillipians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
I can not tell you, even at this point the amount of faith and peace the Lord has instilled in me. I like to say that I have been in the eye of the storm. There has been chaos all around me, but God has helped me to maintain my sanity. Never once have I questioned God’s Will. He is still awesome even when things don’t go my way. Things are definitely not going the way that I imagined.
Has God given you peace during some unfortunate situations? Share them with me by commenting below or by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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